Butterfly Sparks Designs

Sunday, August 17, 2008

...southern funerals...

i just returned home from a trip to alabama.  unfortunately, one of my very good friend's dad died this week, so i drove over for support.  my dad died almost twelve years ago, so i know the importance of  friends and family at this time.

southern funerals are unique, and there are a few unspoken rules.  we always follow the rules, my friends. especially in the south.

1.  you must wear black.  god forbid you show up in something, ahem, floral. or pastel. my friends and i had the "what are you gonna wear" discussion before we made the trip over, and they reminded me of this rule. good thing, because i really was going to wear something a little more "lively."  i'm thinking it's a celebration of a life well lived, but i was reminded we'll be celebrating in solemn black. my word, how could i have forgotten?

2.  you must bring a dish.  if you're coming across state lines, this is an exception. (although picking up some fried chicken would be nice).  people eat together after the graveside visit, and it's almost always at the home of the deceased. kind of strange, huh? this leads me to point 3...

3.  there will be the most enormous, amazing buffet afterwards.  my girlfriends and i were wondering if do they do this in other areas of the country?  i think it should be held at a close friends home or at the church, but in the south it's almost ALWAYS at the home of the deceased.  (as if the family has had the time to clean and scour their home in the last few days to prepare for 100's of guests).  you will find the most fabulous southern home cooking at this buffet.  yesterday i was asking my friends for a camera because i wanted you internets to appreciate the spread of deliciousness i saw yesterday afternoon. unfortunately, no one had one. (not to mention it would have been completely unacceptable to be photographing the buffet table). i will say that i had TWO plates of food, and one plate of dessert. i'm pretty sure i gained 10 pounds at that luncheon, but i won't partake in a spread like that one until the family thanksgiving dinner. TOTALLY worth it. plus i count it as a show of support for the family. (huh? whatever) 

i am absolutely certain i've forgotten a few rules. what have i left off? also, do you do these things in other areas of the country? let's just go ahead and discuss funerals. (i love exciting topics like this)


6 comments:

seantk said...

Nice. I now am still amazed that you would share a meal with people after a funeral.

OK, here's the verdict on the Myers-Briggs (Carl Jung test??):

INTJ

Count me in with C.S. Lewis and..... Hilary Clinton.

mamasass said...

You summed it up beautifully. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we did weddings like that?....just a simple notice in the paper, then no one would feel "left out",those who truly loved the family would come, bring a delicious dish, have the reception at the church.....with everything on a lovely buffet table.......

Jonathan said...

isn't the mawmaw right!!!!!!

steve and randel hambrick said...

i love it! beth, you're finally commenting on my blog!!!! :):)

Kristi said...

The worst part about having the big lunch at the deceased person's house is that the family of the deceased now has to write THANK YOU notes to each person that brought a dish. There's nothing like sitting around a table days after your loved one has died and thinking of a sentence to describe how appreciative you are for their macaroni and cheese.

ManUtd17 said...

I've been to funerals for my grandparents in Boston (one Jewish and one Irish Catholic). A big spread seems to be universal. Plus, my Irish relatives don't mind toasting the deceased either.